Transitions - To be Savored or Swift? September 8, 2010

Transition. What emotion does that word evoke in you?
If you are like me, it likely welcomes a mix of all things bittersweet – anticipation, sadness, excitement, fear, hope, anxiety and joy. Going from something familiar to something new, or moving between two things, or bridging a gap, most often requires us to let go of something in order to grasp something else – be it physical, mental or emotional.
Dictionary.com defines Transition as: “movement, passage, or change from one position, state, stage, subject, concept, etc., to another.”

 As I consider my own life, I think there are two kinds of transitions. The key is to recognize which one you are facing and to honor it accordingly in your life. . .

 Some transitions are to be savored. Savored like the tender kiss on the last day of camp, bidding goodbye to your summer love before returning to the reality of High School. (Don’t worry Dad, I never actually had a boyfriend at summer camp.)
We savor transitions from the things that gave us pleasure in life. We strive to soak in all the goodness as we leave, so that we can treasure the memories, lessons and experiences. I am someone who, on moving day, sentimentally walks through every room of the empty apartment or house, recalling the precious memories I wish to keep of time spent in that space of my life. As these transition call us to embrace the new, they first beckon us to slow down enough to savor that which we are leaving and to revel in the resulting passageway to the next thing. We carry the essence of these transitions with us, whilst still creating ample space for the new things to bloom in our life.


Other transitions are to be swift. Swift like the Tri-athlete who moves quickly from wetsuit to cycling shoes, not wanting to lose one second of transition time to the competition. 
We benefit to move swiftly through transitions that require immediate attention or that cause great pain to ourselves or others. Sometimes life throws things our way that we must simply catch without stopping to contemplate what we are dropping in order to receive it with open arms. Or we are coming out of a place of pain by which a swift transition is the best way to begin healing.

 Have you ever gotten emotionally stuck while trying to savor a transition that should have been swift?  Such as the 1st day Kindergarten mom whose tear-stained face is pressed against the classroom window while her child stares back at her with a confused smile as if to say “Mom, I’m excited! Why are you standing there crying?!”


Or have you regretted moving too quickly through a transition that you later wish you’d lingered upon?  Such as the parent who simply rushes their child up to bed instead of stopping to sincerely appreciate and ask about the creative picture the child is so busy drawing.


Perhaps managing life’s many transitions smoothly is partly done by simply recognizing if it is meant to be savored or swift, and responding accordingly.
Regardless, the transition will come and go. The opportunity is in how we embrace and respond to the actual passageway of moving from old to new. . .

Know Your Own Soul; August 23, 2010

Is deep soul-searching possible without leaving home?
This is a question I’ve been mulling over during my beach runs since seeing the recent film Eat, Pray, Love. The true story is of a woman who sets off on a year long journey to re-discover herself after realizing that she has lost her passion for life within the routines and clichés of daily American living. It is a touching film that left me full of gratefulness for the things I have, and full of longing for the opportunity to somehow live outside the daily drudgery. Who would not find their soul inspired by leaving all responsibilities behind and traveling to beautiful settings? But for those of us not so brave or lucky to risk leaving it all behind for a year (or even a month!), does this mean we miss the chance at true self-discovery and soul searching?


Now, let me clarify that I’m not speaking of a New Age kind of self-discovery. I’m speaking quite simply of searching within to understand our own inner passions, true desires and what fulfills us. Next is the intentional effort to live out those things in a way that makes us feel complete and ALIVE within our daily living. Call it your life’s passion, purpose or significance – but it seems everyone is constantly searching for this.


How do we search our souls for some revelation, or life changing decision, or radical change of perspective? Is it possible without giving up all life’s responsibilities, routines and relationships at home?

I would like to propose that although escapism is a luxurious way to “re-discover ourselves,” people who learn to soul search amidst daily life are more likely to sustain that satisfaction of the soul for a lifetime.

I’m proposing that we must learn how to be true to ourselves within our demanding world (unless you truly plan to go live in Bali forever and never raise a demanding family.) We must somehow honor and tune in to the needs of our own soul, without becoming so self-centered that we lose balance. Intentional, continuous soul searching is like preventative medicine to keep us nimble enough to handle life’s oncoming trials with more grace, and to serve others, rather than having tragedy trigger a change.


So set aside even just a few minutes today and every day to know your own soul.
Get out into nature and leave your phone behind; sleep with the windows open and listen to the crickets, or the traffic or the silence; take a walk under the bright moonlight; do something extraordinary from your regular physical activity; pray with your words and with your ears (listen to what comes back); eat something new; pay attention to how your heart feels at the end of each day; sit up in the dark of your bed and let your mind wander; acknowledge your feelings without self-judgment while still deciding to act on what is virtuous; reflect on why you chose the responsibilities you now have; imagine what you wanted at the beginning of your current life journey; remember your best days in life and reflect on what gave your heart freedom then; believe that God has a plan of hope and goodness for you.


And in the midst of this searching for passion, don’t view your daily life with distain!
Find laughter in that which you previously took too seriously; find love for that which you previously took for granted; speak out your sadness or anger instead of holding it in; live out the things that gave your heart freedom when you were young, while embracing the blessed responsibilities you have now that you are older.


Eat, Pray, Love is a story about a journey away from home to find that which the heart calls home. Let us search our souls and discover our heart’s truest beat without leaving everything else behind.
Lead your heart towards what is true, instead of following it’s fickle whims. Search your soul continuously, amidst the life you have created here.  To master this surely yields a life-long satisfaction that will enable your soul to sing regardless of what the day brings, be it in Bali, or New York, or anywhere in between.

Prologue, August 10, 2010

A great man once said "Whatever it is you wanted to be when you were 10 years old, that is what you are meant to be in life."  What is it you wanted to be?  And how does it compare with what you are doing now? 

My answer at age 10 was that I wanted to be a writer (& a horse trainer).  And so after many years of private journaling and sporatic emails that were met with replies of others encouraging me to write, I'm starting this blog.  If you are reading this, you are a "founding member" of a new adventure for me - one which may lead somewhere amazing, or may simply lead to some warm thoughts and rays of random encouragement shared amongst you and I.  But at age 40 I've committed myself to connecting back with the most authentic parts of who I am at the core and who I want to be so that I can live each day more in tune with what God has me to be, rather than living it by hectic happenstance.

So come pull up a chair, pour yourself a tall glass of lemonade or wine or whatever drink gives you refreshment and freedom of mind and heart.  Come read, listen and see what these words might stir within your own soul. . . .


(I must give a quick thanks to my amazing husband, who is, in fact the great man who made the statement above and who has always encouraged me to explore my passions in life for whatever it may bring.  Cheers to you, my sweet Anton, and to me for stepping out to explore new adventures.  May our lives together become all that we both wish for, from this day forward and forever more.)